The Week In Ugly: Week of July 10 - July 17, 2011

We're gonna start this week's ugly with a little guessing game:

Can you guess which celebrity was caught eating out of a dumpster?

Om nom nom, so tasty!

Think you know who the broke 'n crusty celeb is??

Here's a shot from the front:

Still can't figure out who it is??...



It's Vanessa Hudgens!

But don't worry, V.Hudge super-fans, Vanessa isn't actually homeless and super hungry, she was just filming some scenes for her upcoming film, Gimme Shelter. I smell an Oscar!^*

That was fun! Let's play another round.

Guess who this ugly fug is:

She's ready for her close-up!

Did you guess? If not, it's probably too late, 'cause if you can read this, you can probably see the answer. It's...

Cameron Diaz

"Eat Me!"

Cameron Diaz was in Cancun, Mexico, promoting Bad Teacher. Now that's a butter face, if I've ever seen one. Although, her body is also quite frightening...

Cameron Diaz: Body Builder

Ok, we're all done with today's guessing games, now for some reg'lar ol' ugly:

Lady GaGa

GagMe looks horrendous, as usual, but I am glad she’s covering up that ugly mug!

Dakota Fanning

Dear god, please make the Fanning girls disappear.

Courtney Love

Courtney Love is looking clean & sober!

Ugins

ug-ins [ugg-inz]
-noun
1. ugly twins
2. either of two persons or things closely resembling each other in a manner that is very unattractive, unpleasant to look at, or displeasing in appearance.
See also: uglets

We've got another double whammy this week!

First up:

Christina Aguilera & the Wicked Witch of the West^**

Christina Aguilera was out promoting her brand new fragrance, Royal Desire.
Because so many people want to smell like a washed up, dirty hooker. 

Christina Aguilera is a class act. Please notice how she keeps herself covered up, and only shows off one of her boobs.

And this week's big finale:

Serena Williams & Troy Polamalu of the Pittsburgh Steelers

These cool cats should totally date each other!

☮ ♥ & Ugly

^*Obviously, this is sarcasm. I feel the need to clarify, because there are so many idiots in the world.

^**Special thanks to my sister, Linda Krein, for pointing out the fact that Christina Aguilera looks like the Wicked Witch of the West. Without her keen eyes, Christina would've ended up in the reg'lar ol' ugly line-up.

^***As always, click on the pictures to see even more ugly detail.

The Week In Ugly: Week of June 26 - July 3, 2011

This was another delightfully ugly week, filled with the Jersey Shore, parenthood, and just a dash of porn.

Kim Kardashian & Vera Wang:

 Kim Kardashian's leopard-print romper is heinous, but Vera Wang's anorexic body and gaunt face are so much worse. Eat a sandwich, you ghastly freak.

Christina Aguilera & "The Voice" Top 4 Finalist: Beverly McClellan:

I really can't decide which one of these two looks more dreadful.

Fa rill, what is up with Christina's knees?!

Kimberly Stewart:

Pregnant people are the worst

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi:

Look! It's Minnie Mouse.

Pink:

Believe it or not, that really is Pink under the hat.
Pink gave birth to daughter, Willow Sage Hart, on June 2; and this week, Pink went to lunch with baby daddy, Cary Hart, covering her face with her hat, and her stomach with that huge bag, almost the entire time.

Under the hat:

No Pets Allowed

Victoria Silvstedt:

Butter Face

Lady GaGa:

Lady GaGa keeps her body in tip-top shape with regular yoga.

I don't actually have a clue as to how regular GagMe's yoga schedule is. Or how regular her s#!ts are, but that's more or less irrelevant.

But seriously, who does yoga (or any remotely physical activity, of any kind) dressed like this?? It's appalling. 

Deena Cortese:

Who knew Deena's been hiding such a HOT bikini bod?

Uglets

ug-lets [ugg-litz]
-noun
1. ugly triplets, quadruplets, quintuplets, sextuplets, septuplets, octuplets, nonuplets, etc.
2. a group or set of three or more persons or things closely resembling one another in a manner that is very unattractive, unpleasant to look at, or displeasing in appearance.
See also: ugins

Hillary Clinton & Julia Roberts... 
& a whole swarm of Hillary "Look-a-Likes"

The past week was positively chock full of Hillary Clinton doppelgangers, and Julia Roberts saw the perfect opening to get in on the action.

TMZ reported that Hillary Clinton's former intern, the hideous Sammie Spades (the chick in the godawful pink top), had not only turned into a porn "star," but was now auditioning Hillary look-a-likes to bone on camera for her upcoming porno, Backdoor Intern.

The title alone has got me on the edge of my seat! And it looks like we won't have to wait long, 'cause TMZ has already given us a a sneak peek at some of the upcoming skin flick's on-set photos. 16 super hot photos, to be exact!

Here's a sneak peek of the sneak peek:

Delightful

Until next week, stay ugly, Hollywood!

 *As always, click on the pictures to see even more ugly detail.

The Week In Ugly: Week of April 17 - April 23, 2011

Ugly don't take breaks just 'cause the Lord hath risen!

So, if you're like me, & your Easter basket was chock full o' bull s#!t, here's some ugly to replace the b.s. with mounds of glee (and I'm not talking about the TV show starring that girl whose mouth takes up half her face. Although, SPOILER ALERT: she might be making a guest appearance in this week's Ugly!).

But first, the lovely basket of joy that the Easter Bunny so kindly blessed me with:

Yep, that's PB, Marmalade, Ladybug socks, a crappy hairbrush, AND shredded documents!
WOWIE ZOWIE! Thanks E-Bunz!

Now, time for this week's ugly!

Nigella Lawson

God help us, not another beached whale!

Don't know who Nigella Lawson is? She has her own Food Network show called Nigella Kitchen. This lovely beach get-up is likely to send those ratings skyrocketing! It's definitely propelled her celebrity to at least a D-rating.

Christina Aguilera

Dressing herself: one of Xtina's many highly-honed skills

Xtina was the first honoree to put her prints in cement at The Abbey Food and Bar's new "Gay Walk of Fame". They could think of absolutely no one better.

 Lea Michele

On the set of Glee, or at a convent?

Remember Lea Michele's last stint as a nun?

Jennifer Love Hewitt

U Can't Touch This

Beyonce Knowles

Makeup. Roots. Outfit. Yikes.

Britney Spears

Why bother with trivial things like hair or makeup?
It's not like you're going to be photographed, or anything.

This Week, we have a BONUS Feature!! I have dubbed it "Ugins"
(I combined "ugly" and "twins". Clever, right?)

Ugins

ug-ins [ugg-inz]
-noun
1. ugly twins
2. either of two persons or things closely resembling each other in a manner that is very unattractive, unpleasant to look at, or displeasing in appearance.

Taylor Momsen & her ugly twin, Chewbacca

Separated at birth. Reunited at last.

Fergie & her ugly twin, Kirstie Alley

Fergie is so lucky. She knows exactly what to expect in 25 years.

I think this might just be the ugliest week yet!

The Week In Ugly: Week of March 21 - March 27, 2011

We had some unexpected ugly smack us in the face this week.  But don't worry, that doesn't mean that the usual ugly culprits were unexpectedly un-uglified.  That would be a real tragedy.  Here we go!

 Vanessa Hudgens

WHAT happened, V.Hudge? You usually look so fab.

Lindsay Lohan

ARREST HER!! She's stealing the Olsen Twins' look!

Lacey Schwimmer

WHO is Lacey Schwimmer?  Idk, but she sure is UGLY!

Ok, ok, I sort of know who she is.  But barely.  She's on Dancing With the Stars. 

I believe she is one of the professional dancers, but beyond that, I just don't care.

Juliette Lewis

Do my pits stank?

Taylor Momsen

Even when she changes out of her hooker-wear, she's ugly as sin! She did do us a service though, by covering her racoon eyes with those large sunglasses. Thanks TayTay! Always thinking of others.

Alicia Silverstone

Ok, I get that you're pregnant, but for god's sake, PUT THAT THING AWAY! It's gross.

Christina Aguilera  

Ach! God help me!

Actually, in all fairness, that pic's not so bad, considering this one was taken just moments before:

You gotta love the chauffeur's face.

See you next week, my little uglies!