The Week In Ugly: Week of June 26 - July 3, 2011

This was another delightfully ugly week, filled with the Jersey Shore, parenthood, and just a dash of porn.

Kim Kardashian & Vera Wang:

 Kim Kardashian's leopard-print romper is heinous, but Vera Wang's anorexic body and gaunt face are so much worse. Eat a sandwich, you ghastly freak.

Christina Aguilera & "The Voice" Top 4 Finalist: Beverly McClellan:

I really can't decide which one of these two looks more dreadful.

Fa rill, what is up with Christina's knees?!

Kimberly Stewart:

Pregnant people are the worst

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi:

Look! It's Minnie Mouse.

Pink:

Believe it or not, that really is Pink under the hat.
Pink gave birth to daughter, Willow Sage Hart, on June 2; and this week, Pink went to lunch with baby daddy, Cary Hart, covering her face with her hat, and her stomach with that huge bag, almost the entire time.

Under the hat:

No Pets Allowed

Victoria Silvstedt:

Butter Face

Lady GaGa:

Lady GaGa keeps her body in tip-top shape with regular yoga.

I don't actually have a clue as to how regular GagMe's yoga schedule is. Or how regular her s#!ts are, but that's more or less irrelevant.

But seriously, who does yoga (or any remotely physical activity, of any kind) dressed like this?? It's appalling. 

Deena Cortese:

Who knew Deena's been hiding such a HOT bikini bod?

Uglets

ug-lets [ugg-litz]
-noun
1. ugly triplets, quadruplets, quintuplets, sextuplets, septuplets, octuplets, nonuplets, etc.
2. a group or set of three or more persons or things closely resembling one another in a manner that is very unattractive, unpleasant to look at, or displeasing in appearance.
See also: ugins

Hillary Clinton & Julia Roberts... 
& a whole swarm of Hillary "Look-a-Likes"

The past week was positively chock full of Hillary Clinton doppelgangers, and Julia Roberts saw the perfect opening to get in on the action.

TMZ reported that Hillary Clinton's former intern, the hideous Sammie Spades (the chick in the godawful pink top), had not only turned into a porn "star," but was now auditioning Hillary look-a-likes to bone on camera for her upcoming porno, Backdoor Intern.

The title alone has got me on the edge of my seat! And it looks like we won't have to wait long, 'cause TMZ has already given us a a sneak peek at some of the upcoming skin flick's on-set photos. 16 super hot photos, to be exact!

Here's a sneak peek of the sneak peek:

Delightful

Until next week, stay ugly, Hollywood!

 *As always, click on the pictures to see even more ugly detail.

MTV to Jersey Shore Cast – “You’re Fired” – Plans to Completely Recast for Season 6

Huge news America!

News is leaking out that MTV plans to completely recast the players on their popular terrible series “Jersey Shore.”

Several sources including TMZ and US Weekly are saying that MTV wants a totally new, young, and fresh cast when they start filming season 6.

The current group of Jersey Shore stars knuckleheads has just returned from Florence Italy where they completed season 4, and are under lockdown until they start filming season 5 next Monday here in the U.S.

But once season 5 is complete we can say goodbye to Snooki, JWoww, Pauley D, Mike “The Situation”, Ronnie, Sammi, Vinny and Angelena!

While this move may be great for America, it may also be good for MTV, as one insider says that the new cast will make far less than the $100,000 per episode that the current cast makes.

Also, MTV has secured the rights for at least three spinoffs currently under contract for the three breakout stars Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Jenni "J-Woww" Farley and Paul "DJ Pauly D" DelVecchio.

“These three have already made deals for their own shows and MTV will produce and direct them giving them longevity and cash flow. By bringing in a new cast they can cultivate them for a few seasons and keep the Jersey Shore phenomenon going for as long as they want – or for as long as the viewers will watch that kind of stuff.”

It also lets MTV jettison the dead wood that has started to bog the series down – like Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino.

“The deal between Mike and his Dad Frank Sorrentino has really put a damper on Mike’s ability to continue on the show. And after Mikes terrible appearance on the Donald Trump roast he proved he can only do one thing – and that’s be a Guido.”

A new cast will also give the network the ability to craft a different kind of contract with the new housemates that will prevent some of the problems of the past seasons.

The existing contract allowed the current cast to stonewall and demand more and more money. It also allowed them to pursue outside business opportunities that frequently caused friction and scheduling problems for producers.

With a new cast comes a new contract - and the opportunity for MTV to make it a little more restrictive now that the series is established.

So, we say good riddance to this cast, but leave you with a cautionary reminder…..

What if the new cast is worse than the first?

Follow InfoStar on Twitter – no tan necessary

The Week In Ugly: Week of June 12 - June 19, 2011

Oh my, my, my. When it rains, it pours; and this week's ugly cup runneth over.

All of the regular offenders have come out to play, and even some of my absolute favorites have come out of hiding! (Taylor Momsen, holla atcha gurl!)

Adding to this week's wondrous display of ugly, was Royal Ascot, the "centerpiece of the British Social calendar," when the Royal Family, along with some lowly commoners, come out to play, busting out their best and brightest attire. 

First up, we have Lady GagMe, gallivanting the streets of gay Paree:

Lady GaGa

GaGa missed her true calling, as the county fair's best freak show.
Spoiler Alert: GagMe is also featured in this week's "Ugins". You will be terrified.

Princess Beatrice

It looks like Princess Beatrice decided to tone down her cray-cray headpiece a bit, since the last time we saw her in "The Week In Ugly". But make no mistake, she still looks positively dreadful.

Jennifer Love Hewitt

J.Love was spotted outside The Pleasure Chest in LA, gettin' her sexy on.

Hilary Duff

This level of ugly is out of character for the Duffster.

But, on the bright side, Hil, you look aight from the waist down!

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

Kittylicious 

Elle Fanning

Ghastly

Dakota Fanning is absolutely wretched and annoying, but somehow, her younger sister, Elle, manages to out-awful her, in every aspect.

Christina Hendricks

That Pilgrim fashion is totally in right now!

Taylor Momsen

Tay-Tay is sad, because she's so freakin' ugly :'(

Ugins

ug-ins [ugg-inz]
-noun
1. ugly twins
2. either of two persons or things closely resembling each other in a manner that is very unattractive, unpleasant to look at, or displeasing in appearance.
See also: uglets

The Black Swan and, umm, The Black Swan

Oh, how i love the Brits, and their crazy hats.

And now for the pièce de résistance. 
If there are any small children around, you may want to usher those little s#!ts out of the general vicinity.

Scary Clown & Lady GaGa

Lady GagMe is the scariest clown to ever haunt our good earth.

See you next week, you ugly little s#!ts

*As always, click on the pictures to see even more ugly detail.

Snooki from Jersey Shore Detained in Italy after Crashing Into Cop Car – Developing

More bad news for the cast of Jersey Shore.

Last week Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino got his ass kicked by a fellow cast mate, and now it looks like Snooki is in trouble.

Reports are surfacing that Snooki and JWoww where driving in Florence Italy when their car struck a police car.

The two Jersey Shore actresses are currently in Italy filming the third season of their terrible show.

No one was hurt and cops say no alcohol was involved, but we find that hard to believe. Cops say there has not been a formal arrest – yet.

This is not the first time Snooki has had a run in with the law. Last year she was arrested for disorderly conduct and public intoxication but was released with only a fine and a few hours of community service.

She was also punched in the face while drunk and can share those details with you in the video below.

Watch Snooki talk about being punched in the face


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Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino Loses a Job over a Blowjob – Video

When Frank “Confrontation” Sorrentino said he was going after his son Mike, he wasn’t kidding.

In addition to bashing “The Situations” agent, the cast of Jersey Shore, the MTV Producers on site in Italy, and others, he is now going after Mike’s sexual prowess.

Mike’s dad released a new video recanting a story about getting “The Situation” a job back in the day, but says he lost it after getting a blowjob by one of the female employees and getting caught.

Instead of walking away in shame, Mike brought a sexual harassment lawsuit against the company owner– and family friend of dad Frank.

Awkward.

But we’ll let Frank tell you in his own words.



As we have reported, Frank is dumping on his son Mike in an effort to sell a “tell all” book about his estranged relationship with the Jersey Shore actor.

Frank also went on the radio yesterday but refused to apologize for the videos and didn’t seem to think they were necessarily hurtful or disrespectful of his son.

Really?

A recap of the fast moving family feud is below:

Frank refuses to apologize on radio show - Audio
Frank dumps on the cast of Jersey Shore - Video
Frank Calls his son a F#cking little F#ck – Video
Frank talks about Mike’s sex tape problems
We smell a rat. A big fat Guido Rat - Theory

As of Thursday, several of Frank’s YouTube videos had been reported as having severe language and racial overtones and appear to have been sanctioned by the site.

Most were still available if the viewer acknowledged their mature content.

Stay tuned. This is starting to turn as ugly as a drunken Snooki.

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MTV Orders Spinoffs with Jersey Shore Stars Snooki, JWoww & Pauly D – Say it Ain’t So!

Ah man, I thought this whole Jersey Shore and Snooki thing was just going to be a flash in the pan and would eventually fade away into the great unwashed of television history.

But I was wrong. How could I have been so wrong?

It seems that MTV has ordered up two new reality shows starring Snooki, Pauly D, and JWoww. MTV is betting that viewers of the infamous “Jersey Shore” cast will follow them into their new “situations”.

MTV folks told the press,

“For the Snooki and JWoww show, viewers will get to see how they deal with life and love when the vacation is over in this 12-episode series. The locale may be different, but the friendship is sure to remain the same.”

This sounds like an absolute train wreck just waiting to happen. But it gets worse,

“Pauly D’s jet-setting and often hilarious life on the road as one of the country’s most in-demand DJs trying to become one of the world’s most successful and recognized names in music. Viewers will get to see Pauly D chase his dream with the help of the best friends he grew up with in Rhode Island by his side.”

Are you serious? Can this actually be allowed to happen? Aren’t there agencies out there that are supposed to stop these kinds of things from happening?

It is a sad day my friends.

Nude Snooki Photos Surface On The Web

Well, it should not really be a surprise.

We knew it was only a matter of time before either a sex tape or nude pictures started to turn up of the cast of "Jersey Shore".

We can thank Snooki for starting things off with a bang!

But hold on.

We suspect this should all be taken with a grain of salt. Even though the website NakedSnookie.com claims to show the first official leaked photo, there is probably a pretty good chance it is a fake.

The Jersey Shore actress, whose real name is Nicole Polizzi, claims on her Twitter account that there have never been any nude photos taken of her.

But a new craze is about to hit the airwaves my friends. You just watch…

In a never-ending cycle to promote in every way possible, there will soon be a wave of nude picture sightings, bathroom wardrobe malfunctions, cell phone misunderstandings, and six-pack mishaps flooding our airwaves.

If you still don't understand the craze that is "Jersey Shore", then the full episode video below will show exactly why everybody hates it. You will hate it too.

Watch "Jersey Shore" Full Episode

Jersey Shore - MTV Shows

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