Alessandra Ambrosio Struts on the Beach: An Animated Story

Alessandra Ambrosio went for a bikini-clad walk on the beach in Hawaii yesterday. Enjoy.

And now, the animated part: *

I whip my hair back and forth.

*Animation may or may not work on mobile devices.

The Week In Ugly: Week of June 26 - July 3, 2011

This was another delightfully ugly week, filled with the Jersey Shore, parenthood, and just a dash of porn.

Kim Kardashian & Vera Wang:

 Kim Kardashian's leopard-print romper is heinous, but Vera Wang's anorexic body and gaunt face are so much worse. Eat a sandwich, you ghastly freak.

Christina Aguilera & "The Voice" Top 4 Finalist: Beverly McClellan:

I really can't decide which one of these two looks more dreadful.

Fa rill, what is up with Christina's knees?!

Kimberly Stewart:

Pregnant people are the worst

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi:

Look! It's Minnie Mouse.

Pink:

Believe it or not, that really is Pink under the hat.
Pink gave birth to daughter, Willow Sage Hart, on June 2; and this week, Pink went to lunch with baby daddy, Cary Hart, covering her face with her hat, and her stomach with that huge bag, almost the entire time.

Under the hat:

No Pets Allowed

Victoria Silvstedt:

Butter Face

Lady GaGa:

Lady GaGa keeps her body in tip-top shape with regular yoga.

I don't actually have a clue as to how regular GagMe's yoga schedule is. Or how regular her s#!ts are, but that's more or less irrelevant.

But seriously, who does yoga (or any remotely physical activity, of any kind) dressed like this?? It's appalling. 

Deena Cortese:

Who knew Deena's been hiding such a HOT bikini bod?

Uglets

ug-lets [ugg-litz]
-noun
1. ugly triplets, quadruplets, quintuplets, sextuplets, septuplets, octuplets, nonuplets, etc.
2. a group or set of three or more persons or things closely resembling one another in a manner that is very unattractive, unpleasant to look at, or displeasing in appearance.
See also: ugins

Hillary Clinton & Julia Roberts... 
& a whole swarm of Hillary "Look-a-Likes"

The past week was positively chock full of Hillary Clinton doppelgangers, and Julia Roberts saw the perfect opening to get in on the action.

TMZ reported that Hillary Clinton's former intern, the hideous Sammie Spades (the chick in the godawful pink top), had not only turned into a porn "star," but was now auditioning Hillary look-a-likes to bone on camera for her upcoming porno, Backdoor Intern.

The title alone has got me on the edge of my seat! And it looks like we won't have to wait long, 'cause TMZ has already given us a a sneak peek at some of the upcoming skin flick's on-set photos. 16 super hot photos, to be exact!

Here's a sneak peek of the sneak peek:

Delightful

Until next week, stay ugly, Hollywood!

 *As always, click on the pictures to see even more ugly detail.

Kim Kardashian's Butt: It's ASStronomical

Kim Kardashian and her humongous hind end were recently spotted in Puerto Mito, Mexico, accompanied by her boyfriend (for now), Kris Humphries.

Kris Humphries is a freakin' giant, but Kim's butt is bigger.

"Kiss me, Kris!"

I'm actually in awe of the fact that Kim can manage to squeeze that thing into pants! Seriously, how can that butt be REAL? Click on the picture to see that thing up close.

The pair continued their makeout sesh for the photogs...and even had time for a costume change:



"Kiss me again, Kris!"



"Catch me, Kris!"



"Do me, Kris!"



"Show the camera my butt crack, Kris!"

"QUIT IT, Kris! Can't you see the paparazzi are leaving?"



The three-some (Kris, Kim, & Kim's ass) were in Mexico with Kim's sister, Kourtney Kardashian, to celebrate Kourtney's descent into old-agedness.

Thirty-two. Kourtney is now 32! That's super ancient, by Hollywood standards. I'm surprised she can still manage to walk without a cane.

Little baby Mason, and Kourtney's baby daddy, Scott Disick, also tagged along to serve as constant reminders to Kourtney of just how old she is. Here's a picture of the happy family:

That's it. Kourtney and her little quasi-family get one picture. Just one.

Ke$ha is a Bathing Beauty

Our favorite singing sensation, Kesha Rose Sebert, was spotted on a beach in Australia yesterday, where she is currently on tour.

She wore a lovely, high-waisted bikini, with lattice-detailing on the sides.  This lattice-detailing is reminiscent of an apple pie, which Ke$ha has apparently been enjoying a lot of.

You could bounce a quarter off that hind end!

Om nom nom! Ke$ha HUNGRY!!!

Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoy a well done high-waist bikini, it can be so retro-fab, but this is NOT that.  Good god, this is not that.

Let's take a look at some more of these smokin' hot pics, shall we?

Maybe she should've done some running before getting into that bikini

Again, yoga BEFORE bikini.

Omg, someone come help, QUICK! We've got a beached whale!!!

The bikini, not on Ke$ha:

See?  Not so terrible.

If you totes need to look exactly like Ke$hy-Poo, this bikini is from the love of my life, Free People.

If I were Free People, I would sue the piss outta Ke$ha. That's gotta fall under some defamation laws...right?