‘Jersey Shore’ Whore is Preggers!

Wanna guess which Jersey girl is sporting a fresh new baby bump?

Pure magic

The pregnant 'Jersey Shore' whore is....

Angelina Pivarnick
No surprise there. The girl is a total trashbag.

Gettin' it in

As usual, TMZ ^[1] got the story first. Here's their lovely composite of a pregnant Angelina:

Oh yeahhhh!

Reportedly, Angelina’s baby daddy is also her fiancé.  
HER FIANCÉ!
How did she even find a guy who wanted to hang out with her in any capacity, much less knock her up, AND spend the rest of his life with her?!? Mind boggling.

Just for you stalker types: her fiancé is Dave Kovacs, and the pair have been betrothed since this February. Nothing like making a lifelong commitment to torture on V-Day! A beautiful "VD" gift, if you will.

The happy couple!

I don’t think anyone can truly be 100% sure about who really fathered Angelina’s baby…
I believe Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino said it best, when he referred to Angelina as the “Staten Island Ferry,” because “everybody gets a ride, and it’s FREE!” - Oh Sitch, you are the wisest owl in the whole forest.

Good thing Angelina already has tons of practice covering up that gut!

Personally, I cannot wait until she pops this sucker out! Her labor will probably last a grand total of 5 minutes. (Get it? 'Cause she's loose as a goose.)


^[1] TMZ Staff. "'Jersey Shore' Angelina Pivarnick -- PREGNANT!" TMZ 27 April 2011.

Playboy to Michaele Salahi: "Girrl, You Ugly!"

If "Michaele Salahi" doesn't ring any bells, she's the trashbag fame-whore from Bravo's cancelled Real Housewives of D.C., as well as "alleged" White House crasher. (I love that term - "alleged".)

Anyway...according to the CIA TMZ, Mrs. Bag-of-Bones Salahi shot some fully nude, fully vomit-inducing, pics for Playboy. But here's the unfortunate news for us all: Playboy's powers-that-be emailed Michaele, to inform her that "there is no opportunity this calendar year to offer you a cover opportunity or place for your pictorial."

Aww, poor little crazy.

BUT DON'T FRET, DEAR CHILDREN! Playboy may not put Michaele Salahi's disgusting nudie pics in their mag, but they'll still put them on their website!

Publicity is publicity, and Playboy hasn't been doing too hot lately... This should definitely help their sales.

The email to Salahi continued, saying:

"We had hoped an issue would be available to present you in the pages of the magazine first. However, that does not seem likely and we do not want to keep them from our readers any longer."

HAAA! Yeah right. Playboy is smarter than that. We all know they never intended to put this freak in the pages of their prestigious magazine, they just wanted to see her goodies! (Or her not-so-goodies, as the case may be.) But I am glad that Playboy is thinking of you and me, the "readers," by not keeping these "AMAZING!" nudie shots from us! Thanks Hef & Co.!

BONUS:
This is all made even funnier by the fact that, just a few days ago, TMZ ^[1] reported that Michaele Salahi's equally fame-hungry and deranged husband/alleged White House crashing buddy, Tareq Salahi, has been in talks with Playgirl to do a FULLY NUDE vomiting parade photo spread - on horseback, no less.

Whatchu got under that towel, ya sexy beast?

TTYL my little uglies! Have fun scouring the web for those nudie shots! I know you can't resist.

^[1] TMZ Staff "Alleged White House Crasher -- Stripping for Playgirl " TMZ 16 April 2011.