‘Jersey Shore’ Whore is Preggers!

Wanna guess which Jersey girl is sporting a fresh new baby bump?

Pure magic

The pregnant 'Jersey Shore' whore is....

Angelina Pivarnick
No surprise there. The girl is a total trashbag.

Gettin' it in

As usual, TMZ ^[1] got the story first. Here's their lovely composite of a pregnant Angelina:

Oh yeahhhh!

Reportedly, Angelina’s baby daddy is also her fiancé.  
HER FIANCÉ!
How did she even find a guy who wanted to hang out with her in any capacity, much less knock her up, AND spend the rest of his life with her?!? Mind boggling.

Just for you stalker types: her fiancé is Dave Kovacs, and the pair have been betrothed since this February. Nothing like making a lifelong commitment to torture on V-Day! A beautiful "VD" gift, if you will.

The happy couple!

I don’t think anyone can truly be 100% sure about who really fathered Angelina’s baby…
I believe Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino said it best, when he referred to Angelina as the “Staten Island Ferry,” because “everybody gets a ride, and it’s FREE!” - Oh Sitch, you are the wisest owl in the whole forest.

Good thing Angelina already has tons of practice covering up that gut!

Personally, I cannot wait until she pops this sucker out! Her labor will probably last a grand total of 5 minutes. (Get it? 'Cause she's loose as a goose.)


^[1] TMZ Staff. "'Jersey Shore' Angelina Pivarnick -- PREGNANT!" TMZ 27 April 2011.