American Idol: Top 6

As contestants are slowly weeded out each week, more & more of American Idol's 90-minute time slot opens up, and it simply must be filled! 

Last week, AI producers filled the time by forcing us to watch a terrible group performance given by the already-forgotten contestants of yore. But this week, the producers decided to give us something a little better!

What's better than crappy group performances? Crappy duets!

The American Idol kiddos were paired according to who would be most likely to fall madly in love, in order to potentially create even more buzz around the show - This includes the pairing between James & Jacob. (I bet James was sad that he didn't get to sing his duet with Stefano.)

Ok, enough intro, here we go...

American Idol Recap
Top 6: Music of Carole King

Remember: With only 6 contestants remaining, HALF of them will be in tonight's Bottom 3! That's got to be terrifying. 

UPDATE: The American Idol Top 6 results are in, & they were shocking & sad. So very sad. Although, little idiot girls around the country were probably elated.*

Jacob Lusk: Going Home.Update: STAYED! What?!? You heard me.*

Performed "Oh No Not My Baby"
Was that Steve Urkel on stage?
Overall, I think Jacob gave a pretty decent performance, & he definitely had fun. BUT: there was one note that he held for a really long time, close to a minute...& it was FLAT! For ONE WHOLE MINUTE! Good god, bring that pitch up! It was almost too much for my poor ears to bear.
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Lauren Alaina: Staying

Lauren & the Pedophile

Performed "Where You Lead"
Miley Cyrus stopped by to visit Lauren & Jimmy Iovine in the studio. Cute!
America loves Lauren, but I'm not feeling it. She was afraid of hitting a D5? That's not even high AT ALL.
And WHO was the awkward boy that decided to join Lauren on stage? Turns out, it was a 19-year-old pedophile.
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1st DUET: Haley Reinhart and Casey Abrams 

Casey: "Wanna bone?" Haley: "Sure."

Performed "I Feel The Earth Move"
Definitely the best duet of the night.

Maybe that had something to do with the fact that they're obviously in love?... Whatever it was, their voices blend beautifully!
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Scotty McCreery: Hopefully Bottom 3. Keep your fingers crossed!*

Performed "You've Got A Friend"
Anyone who likes Scotty is a stupid little girl, regardless of age or gender. Go back to junior high, & you can spend all day writing your name with McCreery's, drawing little hearts all 'round. Stupid idiots.

I would like to know how Scotty's performance last night was in any way "out of his comfort zone". It wasn't, that's how. I wish I could anti-vote for Scotty, 
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James Durbin: Winning

Performed "Will You Love Me Tomorrow"
Once again, James gave an AMAZING performance. He has got to be the absolute best performer that has ever been on American Idol. If he doesn't win this whole competition, there is something very wrong with the state of our dear country.
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2nd DUET: Lauren Alaina and Scotty McCreery

Performed "Up On The Roof"
Just a pair of simple country folk, that's what these two kids are, & their duet? Lame.

J.Lo gave Scotty the best backhanded compliment I've ever heard, telling them, “Lauren, you sing your... brains off! It was beautiful. It’s a real talent to sing second voice behind somebody who’s singing like that, and you did a really good job too, Scotty,”
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Casey Abrams: Borderline Bottom 3. Update: Casey Went Home. 
It should've been Scotty! Casey's didn't hold anything back during his farewell performance. I'm gonna miss this guy.
Performed "Hi-De-Ho"
I always like Casey's performances. But I think the stupid little girls sending in their votes think he's too weird.

I'm worried that he'll be in tonight's Bottom 3, but hopefully Scotty will do the right thing & take that bullet for him.
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Haley Reinhart: Bottom 3 Update: Was NOT in tonight's Bottom 3. I think she was just as shocked as the rest of us.*

Performed "Beautiful"
I think Haley did a swell job last night. I also really like her style.

She has consistently given more entertaining performances than Lauren, but the judges go on & on about Lauren's "amazing natural talent," so all of America's 5th grade girls take them at their word, & vote accordingly.
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FINAL DUET: Jacob Lusk and James Durbin

Performed "I'm Into Something Good"
A pretty terrible duet, overall. There was just SO MUCH going on, between the screaming, and trills, it was just a lot to handle.

But if nothing else, we got to catch a glimpse of Jennifer Lopez's absolutely amazing legs when these two spun her chair away from the judges' table. Holy Lord Almighty. Time for the rest of us to hit the gym!
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If you don't agree with my review, you are obviously a tone deaf moron, and represent all things hated by all people.

See you after the results! 

*UPDATE NUMBER 2:

According to Ryan Seacrest's Tweet, the "Bottom 3" revealed in the American Idol Top 6 Results Show was not actually the Bottom 3, but a randomly selected 2 contestants, plus Casey, who bid us farewell.