Brooke Mueller: Hard Drugs, Hard Nipples

Charlie Sheen's ex-wife / baby mama, Brooke Mueller, was spotted out n' about in Hawaii. Not surprisingly, Brooke was engaging in some highly suspicious activity, to say the least.

As Brooke roamed the streets of Maui, cash in hand, she was photographed talking to multiple people in random cars. From my extensive research, this looks a lot like the behavior of a junkie buying drugs.

Full disclosure: the only research I've done has been in the form of viewing those newfangled talkies.

Suspicious, no?

Woman on a mission!
Ok, Brooke's nipples may or may not be hard. But they are visible. Close enough.

Fiending for more? TMZ has a delightful gallery, full of pictures depicting Brooke Mueller's Shady Transaction In Hawaii. 

Remember Brooke Mueller's Fun-Filled Week back in mid-April?

So, what do you think: Is Brooke Mueller an unfit mother? Should Charlie Sheen get the two chil'ns for keepsies? Is there a lesser evil in all of this? How 'bout Grandma? Where did Brookey get her super cute ensemble? What have the Goddesses been up to? Does Denise Richards ever not look like a deer caught in headlights? Does she really do her own bikini waxing? Do you think she numbs her vaj first? So many questions, my head is spinning.Get at me.

Brooke Mueller's Fun-Filled Week

Charlie Sheen's estranged (and dangerously deranged) ex-wife, Brooke Mueller, has been up to some crazy shenans this week! She's obviously out to show the world that she's cleaning up her act, in order to retain custody of the children she birthed with loony toon, Charlie Sheen.

Aww, the good ol' days, when Brooke & Charlie would chain smoke & do lines of blow together, as a happily married couple.

The first sign that Brookey took the short jump into the pits of insanity, was her attempt to sell a stereo and a pricey men's watch to a pawn shop in Inglewood, CA, early Thursday morning.  Not surprisingly, TMZ got their grubby little hands on the pawn shop's surveillance footage, which shows Brooke looking all nervous and fidgety. Nothing like a hearty bowl of crack cocaine to start your day!

Poor Brooke couldn't convince the pawn shop to buy her goodies, 'cause she couldn't supply a valid I.D. - Must be a pretty classy pawn shop, if you need a real I.D!

Interesting note: Brooke gets $55,000 EVERY MONTH in child support from Charlie, not to mention, the millions she received when they divorced. So, WHY does she need to pawn anything? How much blow can you possibly buy in a month? And hasn't she ever heard of ebay? No one asks you for I.D. on ebay! Stupid Brooke.

2nd DAY OF SHENANS:

(Background Info: Brooke & Charlie both agreed to random drug-testing, as part of their custody settlement.)

Brooke was scheduled to have a drug test at 6pm on Friday...yet when the drug testers showed up at her home, Brooke's lawyer, was all, "Nuh-uh! Brooke doesn't need to take no drug test!"*

Obviously, Brooke didn't want to take the drug test, because she was offended that anyone would doubt her sobriety in the first place. She was overheard telling the drug testers (in a British accent), "I will surely not dignify your suspicions by submitting myself to your mandatory drug tests!"* There you have it, straight from the horse's mouth. This clearly proves that Brooke is clean and sober.

According to the terms of Brooke & Charlie's custody settlement:

refusing to take a drug test = a dirty test.

So which coke fiend will get to keep these lucky kids? Will it be unemployed Charlie Sheen? Or bat-s#!t crazy Brooke Mueller? OR will it be the wannabe-pornstar Goddesses?!?

This one's got me on the edge of my seat!! I can't wait to find out how this story ends!

One big, happy family!

*Disclaimer: No one said any of these things.

The Week In Ugly: Week of February 27 - March 6, 2011

This week, as any typical week, was chock full of ugly.  Yay!  Here are some of the week's looks that most made me want to scratch my eyes out:

Lea Michele

In junior high, I was chased by an enraged nun.  She bore a scary resemblance to Lea Michele. 

Taylor Momsen

Tay Tay spends most of her time at truck stops giving out handies.

A girl so unsightly, she made it twicely

Brooke Mueller

It was either this, or Charlie Sheen.

Don't worry, lil' guy, someday, when you're old enough, you can tell all of your problems to Dr. Drew.

Rumer Willis

The poor girl looks bad no matter what she wears, but this is especially wtf-ish

Abbie Cornish

Ryan Phillippe left Reese Witherspoon for this?

Lady GaGa

Lady GaGa never fails to scare me with her ugly

We can only hope that next week has just as much ugly in store for us!

Charlie Sheens Kids Removed From His House – Stripped of Custody

Troubled actor Charlie Sheen woke up to some bad news Tuesday morning. A judge has issued an order stripping Charlie of custody of his two children.

Police went to the actors house during the night and removed the children just as they were being put to bed.

Apparently, ex-wife Brooke Mueller told the courts that Sheen had given her a note saying,

“I will cut your head off, put it in a box and send it to your mom”.

With all that has been Charlie Sheen in the press this last week, the note was just too much for Brooke to handle and she started calling her lawyers. She says there have been other incidents including throwing a phone and wielding a pen knife in her face.

Mueller also received a temporary restraining order against Charlie. The order requires him to stay 100 yards away from Brooke and have no contact with her.

To make matters worse, Sheen is now back on the rampage, and the Today show, trying to defend himself. At one point, Sheen looked into the camera and said directly to Mueller,

"I'm sorry you felt this had to be done in this way, but this does not display any responsible parenting."

Charlie, this is starting to get worse by the minute.

Charlie Sheen Enters Rehab

Just when you thought the Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller situation could not get any worse…. It just did.

TMZ is reporting that Sheen did not show up on the set of "Two And A Half Men" yesterday, and that when he showed up for work on Tuesday the production staff was told Sheen was entering rehab.

This could just be a ploy to keep the courts on his side, as part of his probation is not to consume any alcohol or drugs. Uncle Charlies rep says the rehab is "for precautionary measures".

The issue is that if he drinks he may have his bail revoked sending him to jail. That would definitely put a crimp in his sitcoms taping.

We are not sure how the production schedule will need to be altered, but when contracts are signed they are usually for a certain number of shows by a certain date.

Sheen's wife, Brooke Mueller, was forced to leave a Malibu rehab center last week due to a leak of personal admissions information. Mueller's camp has said they are preparing a lawsuit against the facility and that Brooke has since checked into a more "secure" program.

Hollywood life sure seems complicated sometimes.
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Bad Week For Charley Sheen - Stolen Cars And Federal Charges

Poor Uncle Charley.

This has been a bad week for the "Two And A Half Men" star.

First, an Aspen Colorado court decided that Charley Sheen would, indeed, be charged for his Christmas day domestic violence charges against his wife Brooke Mueller.

Brooke told police the actor held her down while holding a knife to her throat, and a temporary restraining order was filed keeping Charlie away from Brook and their children. They are scheduled to appear Monday to ask for changes that would relax the order.

Sheen will also be charged with felony menacing and misdemeanor assault.

To add to the problems, Brook just spent a month recovering from a life threatening bout of pneumonia and spending a week in rehab.

Second - Charlie's stolen Mercedes SUV was found 400 feet down a cliff after being reported stolen about 5:00 in the morning. The car is totaled and cops were unable to find any trace of a suspect.

Third - Sheen's costar on "Two And A Half Men", Jon Cryer, received death threats at the studio causing an influx of FBI agents and a removal of the studio audience last month. Whew, who says the Hollywood life isn't exciting!

But there may be a glimmer of hope for old Charlie.

His blockbuster movie "Wall Street II - Money Never Sleeps" is scheduled for release in April 2010. The film reunites Sheen's character Bud Fox with original Gordon Gekko co-star Michael Douglas. The twist with this sequel will be the addition of Shia LaBeouf as Jacob Moore.

But there may be a new problem…

This is a different era. Things have changed since the original "Wall Street" hit the big screens. Some critics are suggesting that with the economy in turmoil, this is the worst possible time to introduce a greedy Wall Street movie. Especially with the banking system bonus fiasco still fresh in everyone's mind.

Welcome to Hollywood.

Watch Movie Trailer - Charlie Sheen And Michael Douglass in "Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps"


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