Chad Ochocinco Keeps "Ochocinco"

Chad Ochocinco was traded to the New England Patriots a few days ago (Thursday, July 28, to be exact), which presented quite the predicament: #85 was already worn by the team's tight end, Aaron Hernandez (who had a not-too-shabby rookie season with the Pats)

Fisticuffs?

As we all know, Chad legally changed his last name from Johnson to Ochocinco, back in August 2008, to match his jersey (more or less). So what was Chad Javon Johnson Ochocinco supposed to do now? Change his name back? Take some random jersey number and look like a fool?

Child, please.

Yesterday, TMZ reported that Ochocinco was "willing to pay anything to wear #85 on the Patriots."^[1]

Well, hats off to Patriots' tight end, Aaron Hernandez, who must be a really cool guy, 'cause he's letting Chad Ochocinco take his #85 jersey...for $Free.99, saying:

"Chad Ochocinco came to the team and he’s a great player and I had a chance to get my college number back and he obviously wanted 85, and it wasn’t a problem."^[2]

Besides that conjunction-overloaded statement... Good way to win fans, A.Hern! Consider yourself drafted for my fantasy team.

Ochocinco & Hernandez: Besties

Fun fact: #81 was also worn by one of my personal favorites: wide receiver, Randy Moss, when he played for the New England Patriots.



^[1]TMZ Staff. "Chad Ochocinco -- I'll Pay to Keep My #85" TMZ 29 July 2011.

^[2]TMZ Staff. "Chad Ochocinco -- I Get to Keep My #85" TMZ 30 July 2011.

Ron Artest, err I Mean: Metta World Peace

Step aside, Chad Ochocinco, there's a new name-changing athlete all up in it. TMZ first broke the story last night, kindly alerting us to the fact that Los Angeles Lakers'  Ron Artest has changed his name to Metta World Peace.

"Betta call me Metta!"*

Well actually, Ron-Ron Metta clarified that his last name is all one word, but with two capitals, kind of like McToolbag, so his official new name is:

Metta WorldPeace

I don't mean to imply that Ron Artest / Metta WorldPeace is a toolbag, it just happened to fit nicely, for the purpose of providing an example.

Actually, Metta-Ron seems like a pretty cool guy, and even told TMZ that part of the reason he changed his name was for "star power". Thanks for being truthful, Metta, we are now one step closer to world peace.

Metta (according to Metta, himself) means "friendship and togetherness," and "everybody has some Metta inside of them". I'm not sure, but I think that might be some type of sexual innuendo...

All I have to say is, Metta betta buy up his old jerseys right quick! That way, they'll be considered "collector's items," and not just "pieces o' crap".

Something to note: Metta's wife and kids will not be changing their names.




*not an actual quote

Lindsay Lohan Is...DEAD?!?

Yes, sadly, Lindsay Lohan is no longer with us.

R.I.P. Lindsay Lohan

Ok, maybe I'm being a tad bit over-dramatic.

While it's true that Lindsay Lohan is gone forever, she hasn't died... she's just changing her name.

Earlier today, Lindsay's mother, Dina, exclusively confirmed to PopEater, that "Lindsay is dropping the Lohan and just going by Lindsay.  Plus, me and Ali will be officially changing our last names back to my maiden name, Sullivan."

So now, Lindsay Lohan will be known simply as "Lindsay".  Who needs last names, anyways?

Lindsay's name change is almost certainly an effort to disassociate herself from the walking, talking embarrassment, that is Michael Lohan; especially given his latest antics.  I mean, really, who in their right mind would want to be associated with that hot mess?  Apparently, even people not in their right mind don't want anything to do with him.

I can't wait to hear how Michael Lohan feels about all of this name-changing.  He's probably on the phone with TMZ at this very moment.

In other Former-Lohan news: Lindsay has rejected the plea deal offered by prosecutors in the grand theft necklace case.  OMG!!  So now, we wait, while a judge determines if the prosecution has enough evidence to bring this case to trial.  I can't wait to for this to play out!



Video Game Pitch: Grand Theft Wine-o.  Imagine: your character stumbles around LA, tossing drinks on fellow sluts, stealing crap, passing out in cars, and just being trashy in general, all the while, dressed fabulously.

Now that's exciting video game material!