Gilbert Gottfried GottFired

The most annoying man on the face of the planet, Gilbert Gottfried, has been fired from his job as the voice of the Aflac duck.  Why, you ask?  Surprisingly, it's not because he has the most annoying voice in the world, or because he seems to be incapable of fully opening his eyes.  No, it was because the man is a tasteless idiot who thinks that now is the perfect time to tweet jokes about the tsunami in Japan.

Too ugly for words

According to TMZ, Gottfried fired off a whopping TWELVE tsunami jokes on his Twitter page.  The tweets have since been deleted, but here's a little taste of how dumb he truly is:

Stupid idiot, I think you meant to say "There'll" not "They'll"

Looking at Gottfried's Twitter page, I am not the least bit surprised that the man tweeted so many of these tsunami "jokes".  It seems as though he often tweets a joke, then realizes it's not that funny, so he tweets a new version of the same joke, which is equally lacking in humor.  If at first you don't succeed, maybe you should just give up, 'cause you suck, and it's just sad.   

To me, the most shocking part of this story, is the reminder it gives us that anyone would hire this freak in the first place.  He is so annoying!  I want to grab him by the neck and choke him out every time I see/hear him.

In other news: 50 Cent also tweeted some inappropriate tsunami jokes, but he doesn't make me want to kill everything in sight like Gilbert Gottfried does; and his jokes were more offensive towards white boys and hoes than anything else.  Plus, at least he attempted to apologize.  He, too, has since deleted the following tweets.  I don't know why celebs think that deleting things will also delete the evidence that they are highly moronic. 

Charlie Sheen...LOST?

Today will go down in history as a sad, sad day.  Charlie Sheen has finally officially been fired from Two and a Half Men.  And so ends this hilarious ride?  Yeah right, we all know Charlie will do the right thing, and continue his outrageously entertaining antics for at least a little while longer.  One can only hope.

Warner Bros. sent a relatively short letter to Sheen's lawyer, detailing their reasons for terminating good ol' Charlie's contract.  Clearly, Warner Bros doesn't find him nearly as hilarious as do I.  Too bad.  Of course, TMZ got their grubby little hands on this letter before anyone else.   

Here's a fun little excerpt from the letter:

Mr. Sheen called Mr. Lorre a "contaminated little maggot," a "retarded zombie" and a "turd." He also stated that he wishes Mr. Lorre "nothing but pain" and that he has "defeated this earthworm with my words-imagine what I could have done with my fire breathing fists."
Moreover, among many other bizarre comments, Mr. Sheen has proclaimed:

• "I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. . .. If you try it once you will die.  Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."
• "I have tiger blood" and "Adonis DNA."
• My brain "fires in a way that is ... maybe not from this particular terrestrial realm."
• "I'm not bipolar but biwinning."
• "I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars."

I'm so glad Warner Brothers' lawyers decided to sum up Charlie's recent shenanigans, all in one spot!  How thoughtful!

If you are just itching to read 11 pages of legal jargon (plus a COMPLETE 10-page list of Charlie's recent media parade coverage since Feb. 24! BONUS!!), TMZ has been so kind as to share it with us!  Click here to continue the fun!

Idk, I still think Charlie's winning