Jordin Sparks Loses Weight, Turns Into MySpace Hoe

MySpace, Twitter, whatever. Same s#!t, different toilet.

As evidenced by a picture she tweeted, Jordin Sparks has recently lost weight:

I <3 Mirror Pics!

Before and After:

Classy --> Trashy

Girlfriend looks pretty decent, but what the hell? I guess she is our newest MySpace mirror pics girl. Step aside, Miley Cyrus, you're yesterday's news!

Kisses! Muah! xoxoxoxoxo

Whatever, J-Sparks. Keep posting those mirror pics & kissy faces, it's the only way anyone's going to be able to remember that you're still alive.

Miley Cyrus is Hosting SNL...That's Pretty Cool!

Miley Cyrus will be hosting tonight's episode of Saturday Night Live.  This extra special episode promises to be positively brimming with intelligent, subtle humor, as is Miley's forte.

Sadly, for all you Miley fans, there will be a lack of shout-singing tonight, as The Strokes will be the musical guest.  I find this quite ironic, because, had Miley hosted and musical guested, there would likely have been an epidemic of strokes tonight!  (Hardy har... a little joke.)   

Our little Disney Princess has blossomed into quite the classy young woman, and in preparation for what is sure to be a memorable episode of SNL, I'd like to take a little trip down memory lane, and visit some of Miley's best looks.  Buckle up kiddies, here we go:


One of our first glimpses of an older, more mature Hannah Montana Miley Cyrus

Bathroom MySpace!

On the floor MySpace!!

Bikini MySpace!!!

Hello Kitty MySpace!!!!

Someone forgot to pack her tongue scraper!

Thanks to Miley's publicist, it's not weed she's smoking, it's "Salvia"

Ahh. Memories.