Hope is Fading, but a Distant Glimmer Remains

Lately, there has been much talk surrounding Gwyneth Paltrow's future as a recording artist; but contrary to several reports, she has NOT YET signed any record deal. 

The buzz is that Gwynie signed a $900,000 deal with Atlantic Records to record a pop-country album, but her rep informed PEOPLE that "there is no deal yet."  One can only hope that things remain as they are, because I certainly have no desire to hear her sing ever again. 

Gwyneth has been showing off her awful voice everywhere she can, performing at the Grammy's, the Oscars, and appearing on two episodes of Glee.  Thanks to auto-tune and a general epidemic of tone-deafness, it would seem that not everyone believes she is a wretched singer.  However, they would be wrong.
 
Apparently, when someone plays a singer in a movie, they believe that it means they really must have a lovely voice.  Poor, stupid, deaf Gwyneth.  It looks like no one has informed her of the magic of auto-tune, because homegirl is NOT a good singer.  Keeping this information from her is just downright mean.  Tsk, tsk, world.  Tsk, tsk.

If I squint hard enough, people won't notice my voice!

Here's a video of Gwyneth's dreadful performance at this year's Academy Awards.  As a fun little side note, please enjoy the marked difference in skin tones on Jennifer Hudson's face and body.  Also, please enjoy the Spanish subtitles.  

Stick to giving advice on colon-cleansing, Gwyneth, and stay far, far away from the general vicinity of my eardrums.

Joaquin Phoenix's Strange Letterman Appearance - Video

Wow. If you missed the David Letterman show Wednesday night you missed a very uncomfortable visit by Joaquin Phoenix.

Maybe he was just having an off night or was under the influence of drugs, but it got weird to say the least.

He chewed gum non-stop and then stuck it under Letterman's desk, he answered questions with a simple "yes" or "no", and was less than helpful in his efforts to plug his new movie 'Two Lovers" with Gwyneth Paltrow.

Joaquin seemed to take offense when Dave asked him about his beard, and told the host he was not there to be made to feel weird about it. Ouch. When confused by the audience laughter, he asked the host, "What do you have them on? Nitrous?"

He stared blankly at the host when asked simple questions, and it was rare when you could understand his comments - when he talked at all. He did have one strange admission - he is working on his hip-hop music career. Really?

The interview ended with Dave saying, "Joaquin, I'm sorry you couldn't be here tonight", and apologizing to Farrah Faucet, his admitted worst guest ever - until last night.

Watch Joaquin Phoenix on the David Letterman Show



Joaquin's new movie, "Two Lovers", is a Brooklyn-set romantic drama about a bachelor (Phoenix) torn between the family friend his parents want him to marry and his beautiful, but volatile, new neighbor. It opens February 13.

He was last seen in the 2007 thriller "Reservation Road" with Jennifer Connelly, Mark Ruffalo, Elle Fanning and Mira Sorvino, where a couple's son is killed at a gas station on Reservation Road, and it changes their life forever.
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