Thanks to X17, rumors have been swirling that Clown-Boobs would be joining the other wannabe-celebs at Dr.
It's a good thing High-di has the BEST PUBLICIST EVER, Spencer Pratt!! He advised her to squash these rumors stat, so that she could simultaneously throw in a shameless plug for a movie she made a 5-second cameo** in. BRILLIANT! Thus, Heidi made the following statement to PEOPLE: [1] "No, I'm not joining the cast, I'm actually on my way to see Just Go With It for the first time." Good statement, Heidi, thanks for the info!
But make no mistake: Heidi
1. Bicycle Tire Pumps. Gotta keep those boobies fully inflated to basketball-size!
2. Creepy flesh-colored beards****
3. Pretending not to be completely useless
4. Alerting the paparazzi of her every move, in the hopes that someone might put her picture in a magazine again. (They won't.)
5. Continuous surgeries to make sure her face and body get a little bit uglier every day.
Don't worry, Heidi, I'll post your picture in here. I know you could really use the publicity right now.
I'm ready, Spence! |
*Fun fact: This is the longest TV show title ever.
**I do not know, nor do I care, how long Heidi's cameo in Just Go With It actually lasted.
***I do not currently have any concrete evidence to prove that Heidi Montag/Pratt is addicted to pain killers or any of the other vices listed, but I think it's fairly obvious that these are facts.
****Shout-out to Joel McHale!
[1] Garcia, Jennifer. "Heidi Montag: I'm Not Joining the Cast of Celebrity Rehab" PEOPLE 4 March 2011.
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